I need help in moving on...?

Okay, so i while back, i met this guy, and we became really close friends. But from the first time i say him, i think i fell in love. Anyway!!! I really really really liked him, and then he dated my other girlfriend (My best friend). I was okay with it, until it got to the point were people called me weird. And everytime i told him i felt like it was wrong for him to date her, he would tell me "It's not weird" or simply "Grow up". Anyway, that fateful day came were they broke up. And he knows it was me, like he's very sure (even though i didn't do anything). He stopped talking to her, and then ignored me and deleted me of facebook, MSN EVERYTHING! I was really really really hurt. I am so crashed because i loved him, but he never knew that because i didn't want to risk our close friendship of 6 months (I know ironic right :P). So, when i hit depression, i decided i need to move on, i deleted him completly from my life, i deleted his number, and when my our mutual friends make a comment, i would race to comment first to prove to him i'm alive! Because he told me i'm a loser and ill never get anywhere. I would comment so i can just show him i'm still here. But the thing is, everyday i would go up to his profile pic. on facebook to see if he changed it. I don't really know why i do that. I just get this feeling like I NEED TO SEE IF HE CHANGED IT. If he didn't i would feel relieved for some reason. Why is that?? Why do i still care if he changed it or not. And btw, i blocked him on MSN so he doesn't block me, but i would feel happy everytime i see him online. What can i do? Please help!