Does anyone else feel confused and crazy going through a divorce when you still love each other?

Long story short: there was emotional abuse in the past, he is trying harder now and things have improved. I filed because of the abusive behavior, and thinking he didn't love me and wanted the divorce, too. He never wanted to talk about us and seemed to be going along with it, saying we would do it ourselves, amicably - until I got back from the courthouse and handed him the paper. Then, everything changed - he was furious, hired a cut-throat lawyer and of course, I had to hire a lawyer, too. It has taken almost a year. The divorce is almost official - still waiting for final papers to sign, if I agree to the terms. He hasn't been as emotionally abusive to me the last few years and his temper has improved, but this last year since I filed, he has been a lot more open and honest with me about his feelings and I began feeling a lot closer and like things finally could have worked out between us. Even though I wanted to call off the divorce, or at least put it on hold, he wanted it.